Cassandra wilde

Experimenting with discomfort

From the community’s discipline and accountability area:

i’ve been thinking some more about mindful acceptance of negative/uncomfortable feelings.

i started experimenting with discomfort.

When i began going without panties two months ago, i was surprised by how irritable, anxious and uncomfortable it made me feel. i was waiting to ‘get used’ to it, waiting for the moment when i don’t mind it anymore and hoping that then i would finally be able to appreciate this discipline. Waiting for the beautiful and comfortable enlightenment. But these feelings have not diminished one bit.

And then it hit me: what if the point is not becoming comfortable, but instead experiencing the discomfort in every moment and experiencing it fully?

So i put on my corset. i’d tried tightlacing a while ago, but even though i have a great bespoke corset, i couldn’t get used to the discomfort. And this week i thought: what if i put it on and stay aware of how tight it is? i could feel it with every movement, i was noticing all the bones of the corset.

Then the other day i got a mild headache. i typically take painkillers whenever i feel even slightly unwell, but this time i decided not to. i kept watching the headache. i watched it become even milder, and then slightly stronger. i could feel it pulsating in different parts of my head.

i am really enjoying this. Paying attention to every moment when i want to run away from even the slightest discomfort. Practising staying with it and fully experiencing it. Not waiting for it to pass.


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