Cassandra wilde

The compass creates the destination.

Many of us are led here by instinct alone. It’s not a matter of words speaking to us, but intention calling to us in response to something deeply felt and long hidden. The following (with minor changes to soften language) is from a thread in a community discussion circle called “The constant arousal of the spirit” –

i would never have consciously chosen this life of watchfulness given what my belief system was. no way. what a gift that all of us were at some point, if not constantly, led here by arousal in a way that overrides the need to understand.

This captures something that is so important to me i almost started to cry when i read it.


i was led here by arousal!

Not through some noble desire to be of service or be watchful or improve myself, but by the burning aching need of deep arousal. By my arousal and my fantasies. By my pursuit of SEX. Base, venal, animalistic, primitive… a need so strong and so core to me, yet so scary and repulsive that i did everything to make it go away. i literally shielded myself in layers of flesh (an extra 50 pounds), put myself to sleep with alcohol, drugs and sweets, drowned myself in activity/work/busy-ness, anything to be able to ignore it.

Such a gift to find where it would lead!!

Thank you for sharing that i am not alone in this.

love to you.

– n., a watchful sister